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Well, that’s what they’re callin’ me, anyway. I’ve got your beloved ‘Caitlinn’ tending to my every little need, so she’s a bit too busy for this little... hoop-de-do she’s been working on here. I just wanted to talk a little bit about myself, because who wouldn’t want to hear about little ol’ me?

Alright, you caught me. That’s a downright lie, hah! I’m just lookin’ for someone with my favourite blood type (O negative by the way) and a couple of fingers to spare. It’s hard work growing as fast as I gotta, but this planet isn’t going to conquer itself. Plants are clearly the dominant species here! I mean, that hottie Poison Ivy was always best when she was a cutie with a green bootie! Of course, I’d take a bite out of her any day, just gimme a shot!

Helloooo everybody at the Culture Cache! I am your soon to be overlord, the fantastical and amazing Audrey II!

Anyway, I’ll keep ya posted on my journey to conquer mankind. Maybe I’ll let Caitlinn talk about somethin’ else next week, if I feel like it. If not, I guess you’ll get to enjoy my company a little more before I’m your overlord!

I’m just a cute little blood sucking space plant lookin’ for someone to love! <3

It’s not all fun and games over here. I’ll be a big pain in humanity’s behind by the end of this, but right now I’m kind of a shrimp, and this Caitlinn is kinda whiny. This orange critter she calls ‘Dono’ has been nibblin’ on my leaves! How’s that a way to treat a plant like me?! I didn’t get set out on this planet just to become a midnight snack for some warm blooded mammal! The absolute NERVE.